Experimenting With Mind Gives Mind-Blowing Results (WE-49)
Why does it do the opposite of what it's told and what we can do about it.
So, today, I was trying to meditate after months. When I sat with good intentions guided by Sam Harris on the Waking Up app, in a few minutes, my back started to hurt (he told me to keep my spine erect!).
Now, he is telling me to focus on the breath and my back is singing its own song. But I resisted the urge of distraction & strengthened my resolve to focus only on the breath.
A few seconds elapsed and I was back to square one - focusing on the pain erupting in my back.
At a loss, I decided it was not going to work this way.
I thought of a solution.
I decided that I would allow my mind to focus on my breath as well as my back, i.e. I tried to fragment my attention. Just let it go where it pleases.
I noticed it was much easier to focus on my breath this way.
Using force, repression or suppression never works with the mind. Oh, no way!
You have got to let loose the noose and then just watch!
Forcing the mind to think a thought
What is even more interesting is when I ‘forced’ my mind to think, it went blank.
I literally told my mind, ‘THINK A THOUGHT RIGHT NOW!’
And it went blank!
This led me to contemplate the prospect of humans having no free-will. When thoughts come and go as they please and I don’t have any control over them then certainly free will is out of the question.
Live Music Concert
Have you noticed that when you are at a music concert or any live event and you want to enjoy the moment fully but you simply can not?
You want the unrelated thoughts running in your head to stop so you can absorb the moment but you can not.
Why does that happen? And what can you do about it?
This happened to me recently (again!). I was at a classical music concert organized by my office. The music, the harmonious and melodious sound was enthralling, captivating, and spellbinding. But my mind harbored thoughts of pending work I had to complete tomorrow. What!
I assured myself I would take care of it tomorrow. And that there is no point in mulling over it as I can not do anything about it right then and there. So, I told my mind to stop my train of thought and let me enjoy the magical classical music.
But no, my mind won't listen! As soon as I told it to stop thinking 'that particular thing' it zoomed in and started thinking about it in vivid detail. How frustrating!
The other time I was at a Coldplay concert in Zurich. I was so enjoying my first live Coldplay concert when the person standing next to me started admonishing his son to take off his hat. He told him many times. But the kid won't budge.
I told my mind to ignore what was happening next to me and focus on what was in front of me. But the mind won't listen. The ears instead of listening to my favorite songs would run to pick on what my neighbor was telling his son.
The more I forced my mind the more rebellious it became.
It is so frustrating I tell you. Today, I have had enough of it. I started to search for why my mind behaved like this and how to get rid of this.
Here is what I found
This phenomenon is known as "Ironic processing". It is a term used to describe the phenomenon where if you try hard not to think about something, you end up thinking about it even more.
Here's a simple example:
Imagine I tell you, "Whatever you do, don't think about a big, juicy slice of pizza." What's the first thing that comes to your mind? Chances are, you're now thinking about pizza, even though I told you not to.
The reason behind this is that when you actively try to push a thought away, your brain can't help but bring it to the forefront. This happens because it's constantly checking to see if you're avoiding that thought. So, ironically, your attempt to not think about something makes you think about it more.
So, how to get rid of it?
When such a situation arises where a disturbing or unsettling or an innocuous thought comes in the mind don't try to shoo it away, don't try to repress it. Instead, give some time to observe it. How?
Say this aloud: I am noticing that such XYZ thought has arrived in my mind. And just by the act of noticing, slowly and gradually the thought will disappear. Remember you did not push it away, it went away on its own accord just by your observance.
This practice looks simple but it is not easy to do. It takes practice. I started inculcating this new way of dealing with thoughts.
Let me know how you find it. If it is easy to do or if it helps.